I don’t know how long have I been gone and I’m not planning to make a blog post for this ’cause I was planning my next post to be meaningful and shit but the thought of ‘I-just-had-to’ came into my mind.
I have been working for 6 months already as a freelance web designer and developer. I was earning money like a drug dealer because of this and I am damn proud of it. I was earning more than those who work in the office. They earn 25 thousand a month, I earn that in a night or two.
Some of us may do life reflections every single day. Maybe in your room, before you sleep at night or while looking at the mirror or while standing on your veranda looking at the stars pretending you’re on a music video or stuff like that. We probably do that at least once: reflecting on our life decisions and other things regarding about life.
I, on the other hand, do that everyday. In my bathroom.
I don’t know what happened to my body clock that it became jammed and temporarily not working. I haven’t slept for 4 days straight now, even catnaps or that thing they call 5-minute sleep where you close your eyes and suddenly 5 minutes have gone by. It’s killing my body and sanity and I can no longer think straight. I almost used my shampoo as toothpaste for crying out loud!
It’s been almost 4 to 5 years since I’ve last held a pencil and a sketch book. College destroyed my passion and love for drawing and sketching. Ever since I studied programming, my creativeness started to deteriorate and disappear and it made me feel like it never existed in me AT ALL. I really regret everything in my college academic life. Seriously. Kids, be damn sure about the course you’ll take. It’s like a curse you’ll cast upon yourself forever if you fail to take the course you really really REALLY like.
Today’s the 10th day of the year 2013 and I know it’s too late to greet everyone but I just wanna say Happy New Year to everyone! Last holiday season, I totally forgot to greet every important person in my life (Yes, including my parents) All I did was to eat and eat and sleep and sleep. How productive, right?!
Anyway, I decided to have a one-on-one chat with myself in front of my life-size mirror but I failed. I was starting to build this very sensible talk with myself but I just can’t help laughing. I feel like a total crazy person. I decided to create a blog post about it but I deleted it afterwards ’cause it sounded really corny and dramatic and shit. I don’t like it at all.
Since I wanted my 2013 to be productive, I bought myself a blogberry planner for Yuppies! Yay! Pic’s on my Instagram account (follow me @eyeruhm lol) I was too lazy to connect my iPhone to sync the photos so this would be yet another long blabbering without any photos to make it look interesting. Anyway, I wanted to be more productive this year, starting with my studies (which by the way haven’t even progressed yet) and social life. But I know I can’t be productive without a laptop.
So yes, this post was created to ask you guys what laptop should I buy ’cause I’m not really good with making decisions like this. I always end up buying the second best, meaning I always see something better after buying the item of my choice. And it just sucks.
So, I’ve finally decided to delete my Tumblr account. It kinda distracts me when I’m really busy for schoolwork. Ever since I reached a thousand plus of followers, I felt like it is my obligation to provide them posts to read every now and then. And not just ‘here’s-a-post-to-read’ type of post. I felt like I have to provide them posts that’s worthy of their time to read. And, I think the bloggers are already changing, affected with bullshit and stuff. It’s no longer fun and some of ’em just want fame. It’s slowly becoming a trying hard stardom site for showbiz wannabe people.
I’ve had enough.
So I’ll be posting my random shit here and hope that people here can cope up with the stuff I post. Heeee.
Hi WordPress, let’s have a strong bond to make our relationship last.
It’s been hell of a week for me. You’ve been gone for a week, not even leaving a note that you really are leaving. I feel sorry for myself ’cause I didn’t even know what I did (uh, I don’t care if my grammar’s wrong). I pity myself for being so sad and seeing you, ever so cheery like nothing ever happened. It felt like I was on a break-up, even though there was never an ‘us’. Hah! Silly me. You didn’t even loved me. I was the special girl who made you feel happy when you were down. I was special, but not loved. And I, I fell hard for you; not even thinking twice of what the consequences would be.
It has been a week, and it’s killing me. Sad thing is, I know this will take longer, and the pain’s actually getting stronger. I have to wake up everyday and say to myself “Hey, Red. He said he wouldn’t leave, but guess what? He left! Now get through the day without being so sad. Go.”
I pity myself for loving too much.