It’s been almost 4 to 5 years since I’ve last held a pencil and a sketch book. College destroyed my passion and love for drawing and sketching. Ever since I studied programming, my creativeness started to deteriorate and disappear and it made me feel like it never existed in me AT ALL. I really regret everything in my college academic life. Seriously. Kids, be damn sure about the course you’ll take. It’s like a curse you’ll cast upon yourself forever if you fail to take the course you really really REALLY like.
Last month, I tried to draw again and it just made me cry due to too much depression and disappointment. My drawing skills were shit. It felt like I drew a crap in my canvass, literally. I ended up erasing the whole thing, then destroying the canvass. I was in the peak of sadness. It felt like my ‘talent’ in drawing left me because I no longer have time for him.
I shot bottles and plates that night so just to let my frustration out. The next day, I kept my sketch book and pencils away and decided to quit with this drawing sketching shit. I felt like it wasn’t meant for me.
Fast forward to today. I have no sleep for 2 days now. No. Sleep. For. Two. Days. Straight. No, I’m not committing suicide. And no, I’m not summoning Satan from hell. I worked on a client’s web design and drank a cup of coffee with energy drink on it. The result? I can almost hear my heartbeat. I can feel my blood rushing through my veins. I can hear the sound of dust particles colliding together. I thought I was gonna die but it helped me stay up until 5 in the morning to finish my client’s website. After finishing my job, I decided to sleep but I was damned by the ‘ultimate cup of coffee’ that I drank. My eyes were wide open and I can’t feel any sleepiness or tiredness in my body. I cleaned the entire house, played drums, shot some birds with a pellet gun, threw a rock on my pesky neighbor’s house but I was still energetic enough to not fall asleep. I decided to open my cabinet to clean and throw stuff I no longer use. Then, it happened. The ‘zing’ between me and my hidden sketch pad. I picked it up and started drawing random stuff I don’t even know why I’m drawing.
The result: Sugar skull feat. I don’t know yet. I can’t finish the sketch.
I was pretty happy with the outcome of this since I drew it for like 10 minutes or so and it was really random. My brain flew somewhere I don’t know while drawing this.
I’m planning to enhance this just so I can include this on my portfolio. And, I’m gonna practice on digital art too. I’m really pushing multimedia arts after my degree in Computer Science.